Compromise for the sake of what?

Sleep

I won’t compromise my sleep for anything else. Sleep is the most important activity I can do for my health. Some say you can sleep when you are dead – I say you are going to be dead sooner if you don’t sleep.

Fitting in with the crowd

I no longer compromise my true self in order to be like the crowd, doing the same as the rest. Even if I know it would help the situation in the moment, I know it won’t in the long run. This lesson took longer to learn than I would have liked. I no longer try to fit in, even when that voice in my head erodes my confidence in the moment nudging me, asking me to conform, I won’t budge.

Respect

I compromised my respect for others and myself for many years  – I didn’t speak out, I didn’t do what I knew to be right and honorable. I compromised my core values by staying silent, I sold out on myself and the thousands of others that suffered before me. It only takes 5 seconds and 5 words, “I have a mental illness” but requires a lifetime of courage to speak our truth.

Choose to Stand for Your Core Values

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Standing for what you believe in isn’t something to take lightly.

Many say they do take a stand for what they believe in but when a situation shakes their looking good and perfection mechanisms, its seems like they are just a lot of talk.  Standing for what you believe sometimes feels like you are compromising something else but it’s not. You see you have a choice be true to yourself or compromise yourself for an imaginary gain.

Standing for what you believe in can be overwhelming. Standing for what you believe is one of the most vulnerable actions you can take, you may even experience excruciating fear. I know, I did and do every time I stand up to speak about my mental health journey in front of an audience. Before I had the courage to speak the truth about my mental illness, I always thought that if I did speak out, I would compromise my reputation, my credentials, even my job. I wasn’t educated enough to understand some of the labour laws around disclosure in the workplace.  I thought the minute someone knew I had a mental illness, their opinion of me would change in that instant (for the worse) no matter how long we knew each. No matter how much credibility we had built with the other.

Compromising your health, mental, or physical is not advised. Creating inner conflicts by going against your core values and beliefs is not healthy. Staying true to yourself is healthy, it creates a confidence and level of self worth that deepens each time you take actions in line with your core values or beliefs.

Silencing what you truly believe in causes internal hurt, stress, anger, and frustration.  I did this for 10 years, I let people say whatever they wanted about those with mental health challenges and each time I didn’t stand for what I believed in, a little piece of me died with the harsh words or actions.  Inside I was screaming to right the wrong and outside my shield of “nothing is wrong” couldn’t be cracked.

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Be True to Yourself

Be true to yourself and if you don’t know who you are, spend time with yourself. Take the time to understand what you believe and know to be true. If you don’t you’ll be compromising everything you were meant to do and be. Do the self reflection and self development work suggested here.

Here’s the Strategy

The following are suggested for taking the time to get to know what’s important to you. Try one and if it doesn’t resonate, try another.

  • Identify your core values and begin taking actions consistent with those core values. Message me if you want support with this.

  • Identify your great gift, blind spot and vulnerability, sign up here to do a free 1 hour session with me on this.

  • Commit to a practice of mediation once per day – use this website for their guided meditation and structure to commit everyday. Get Some Headspace

  • Take up a reflective activity – yoga, group therapy, tai chi,

  • Put yourself in a self development course.

  • Begin writing a journal. Reflect on some of the points described above.

  • Schedule out some time in your agenda that is for true self reflection.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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4 thoughts on “Compromise for the sake of what?

  1. Leslie,

    Thank you for this article. I appreciate it, not only for the points you made, but also for the fact that I needed to read this right now. As a person who struggles with mental illness, I know how rough life can become when I am not disciplined and taking care of me.

    I love the fact that you suggested establishing your core values. For the past few years, I’ve been making it a habit to dig deep into myself and get clear about what’s most important to me and why. The more I do this work, the happier I am.

    I’m really grateful for your blog and I look forward to meeting you and your husband at some point in the future.

    Thanks again!

    Mike Veny

    • Hi Mike,
      Thanks for the comments. You are always so generous. Love that you are working on your core values. It makes such a difference when we can operator from our core values, out effectiveness, stability, focus, and overall health.
      Looking forward to meet you too!
      LB

  2. Hi Leslie,

    First – thanks again for this whole blog – I am just starting to explore more and more and discovering useful resources tucked in every corner.

    Second – Sleep! This is really screwy, but even though I’ve gotten really excited about sleep, even buying a Zeo, a brainwave reading alarm clock and sleep monitor, before they went out of business, I’ve never come close to establishing the self-discipline around it that you have. I’m going to recommit to that, and, I think, you’re posts may be helpful for me as I discuss it with others who don’t immediately understand how tremendously important this is for my health.

    Thanks again,
    David

  3. David, You are welcome and thanks for your comments. It took me a long time to get the “sleep” thing, mostly I used to mess with it. Glad this can support you. Keep in touch.